It’s the beginning of the year! You know how everyone is looking for a new resolution? I have one for all of us: let us resolve to kick the shins of people who say “first world problems”.
We live in a time of obsessive safety. Every item for sale in this great land is scrutinized from front to back, top to bottom, for any possible injury causing attribute. Designers rework their products endlessly attempting to prevent even the most advanced ignoramus from successfully modifying their product into an efficient eye removal tool. Parents clothe their offspring in enough protective layers that a fall from a supersonic jet would merely result in a severely dented Earth and a child confused because he had never been left outside before.
The Times relayed to us this week the tale of new findings from space nonsense. NASA scientists, apparently having nothing better to do with their barrels of taxpayer money, decided to run a spectacularly expensive flying object into the debris of a comet. This sort of tomfoolery, most resembling a horde of teenagers driving too close, too fast down gravel roads, is apparently what passes for science in this debauched age. However, to explain away the damage to the paint of their expensive spacecraft, these joyriding scientists have now said that they have found amino acids in the scratches.
There seems to be a new divide forming in this nation. Fashion is working its ugly ways, forcing itself upon our collective norms. Again. This insidiousness goes on almost imperceptibly until we are firmly in its grasp, left unawares as to how we arrived in this sorry state. Upon realizing the scale of this degeneracy, your humble narrator thought he may have been too terribly behind the fashion curve to do much to head off this abomination. However upon further reflection I have come to the conclusion that we citizens together can triumph over this peril.
Years ago, in a place not too far removed from where I now sit, existed place of intrigue. A place so magical that words can just start to describe the outline of its wonder. But that is what I shall endeavor to do.